Friday, March 5, 2010

I think I'll go eat some worms...

Im having one of those no good, rotten bad days. Nothing particularly bad happened today to make me feel gloomy but nothing is going quite right either.

Its boredom. Its the thought of maybe having something to do but then realizing you dont.
Its being hungry but having zero food in the house and the thought of going out to eat is defeating.
Its the I don't want to talk and my boyfriend is in a chatty Cathy mood.
Its a I'm cold but if I don't move a muscle then I am just warm enough not to freeze.
It's wanting to be overseas but too chicken to leave my career.
It's a I want to pet my bunny but he isn't having it and runs the other way.
It's needing to put on clothes but browsing my options and wanting to throw away all my clothes because they are old news.
Its wanting something more but not knowing what that is.
It's complaining when I wish I wasn't complaining. FUCK. I think I'll go eat some worms.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

This is what I know

This is what I know...

As a little girl you always fantasize about the woman you will one day be. At the age of 24, although I no longer feel like a little girl, I still wonder about the woman I will become. For now, I can only speak to what I know and believe to be true.

I believe in three things whole heartily, laughter, love and dancing. Those who can find laughter are light hearted, people who can love will never be lonely and finally those who can allow themselves to dance know how to live in the moment.

What if the hokey pokey really is what it’s all about.

Music speaks to me and caters to my every mood.

If the sun is out, no matter what the temperature is outside, I love the windows down with the music turned up and will sing at the top of my lungs to my favorite songs.

In fact, anytime my favorite song is on, whether it is todays, yesterdays or a golden oldie, I will turn it up and sing at the top of my lungs.

I give my trust to everyone from the start and as long as you don’t give me a reason to take it away, you’ll have it forever.

I have never experienced the loss of someone extremely close to me and I am not sure if I am capable of handling it.

I don’t believe in the idea that people walk in and out of your life. I find that even if I don’t see them anymore, I don’t forget them and furthermore I am reminded throughout my life of the time we spent together and the memories we created.

I feel bad for people who say ‘holidays are created by hallmark’ as they clearly are missing the bigger picture. I cherish all holidays as it is a time for three things: One, to come together as a community and celebrate. Two, they are an excuse for a day off. And three, which is most important, it’s time you get to spend with those you love most. It’s truly what you make of it, so if it makes you feel better, don’t buy the damn card.

I find that children are the wisest individuals on earth. They live each day with their eyes wide open and enjoy the wonderment in every new experience. They are the most forgiving of the most dreadful acts. If we could all continue to live with our eyes wide and hearts open, we may be able to find peace.

Life is too short; don’t get hung up on the ‘what could have been’. The ‘I wishes’. And the ‘why me’s’.

If you hate your job, quit it.

I will never be the girl who goes in the water and comes out with great beach hair.

If you feel chubby, then you probably are. If you want to not be, then make a true effort to change it by shifting your eating habits and exercise correctly. Otherwise, stop agonizing over it, eat what you want and enjoy your body for its voluptuous curves.

Don’t judge, you’re not them and you couldn’t possibly know.

I am always up for the next adventure, big or small. In the words of Janice Joplin, “I am a culture vulture and I want to experience it all!”

Tone Loc, Bust a Move. He is my hero.

A man, who is good to his family, is easily, the sexiest thing to every woman, at any age!

Don’t brag, it’s not attractive. In fact, don’t talk too much either. When you do it leaves me no time to wonder and desire for more.

Memories make me smile; they are my treasures of all the time.

My loyalty of friendship is the most precious gift I can give you. I will always be there.

I work hard, can play in the dirt with the best of the boys and still get dolled up and walk the red carpet but I always rest on Sundays.

The sound of high heels on the pavement is one of my favorite sounds.

Few things compare to being on the snow covered slopes surrounded by nature with the fresh cold air on my face.

All I ever ask is for honesty. Honesty, no matter how much it hurts can be forgiven. A lie may make it easier in the beginning but once known can ruin something forever.

There are a few known souls that figured out what life is all about. Gandhi found it through religion, Helen Keller found it through writing and Bob Marley found it through music. In the words of the wise, love thy neighbor, together we can do much and everything is going to be alright.

Bear hugs say a thousand words.

Saying “I love you” is not saying “I want to marry you”.

I have noticed that when some people are about to give their opinion, they will start the sentence with “I am sorry but…” it’s their disclaimer as not to offend. When did we forget that we are allowed to have our own opinions and not everyone will agree with them? I don’t believe it is entirely their fault that they feel they need the disclaimer as it has come to my attention that people have become extremely sensitive.

I couldn’t be more at peace than when I am in a hammock.

When I decide to give you my heart, you get the whole darned thing.

I LOVE peanut butter but if it’s not on what I am about to eat, then I find it to be the foulest substance.

If I could have a superhero power it would be the gift of language. To be fluent in all languages of the world would really be something.

Disneyland truly is the most magical place on earth. Vegas is full of dirty secrets. Pullman is the greatest big kid camp of all time.

I live every moment to the fullest and never take my family, friends or health for granted.

Sunshine and homemade cookies are the best medicine

I wouldn’t be angry if every fifteen years we were forced to re-take the written drivers test. It’s a cluster fuck out there and NO ONE knows how to correctly merge.

I gag almost every time I brush my teeth. I have heard from many bystanders how to correct it. Here’s the fact, it is what it is.

Mothers don’t spoil your boys, it makes them adult babies. Fathers don’t neglect your girls, it makes them foolish lovers.

My Grandmother said as a little girl I never wanted to get off the swings. Well Grandma, at 24 I still don’t want to get off the swings. I love them!

I hope when this is all said and done I can leave with no regrets and be satisfied with the fact knowing I did my best, danced my heart out and lived every moment!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Quarter Life Crisis

I am not sure who wrote this, but I came across it and it truly described how I was feeling as a person in their early 20's...

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going alongwith the crowd and start realizing that there are many things aboutyourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then getscared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizingthat people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thoughtyou were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have evermet, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the mostimportant ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they areas confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close towhat you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and thatscares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others aredoing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantlyadding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. Oneminute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared andconfused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to thepast with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are ormove forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you lovedcould do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybeyou love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out whyyou're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted andacting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.You go through the sameemotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worryabout loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... andwhile winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading thisrelates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times,trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out. .......keep smiling, Keepbelieving, Appreciate life..!!